[ It’s all just a bit bullshit actually. You’d think that when you’ve been put in deliberate mortal peril a bit of late paperwork could be excused. But no, Jon has clearly done something to piss Elias off but instead of telling him what he’s done wrong Elias chose to drag him up to the office to tell him off about how many forms and other mundane managerial tasks he’s behind on.
Yes okay, Elias is right that he does owe his assistants the rota on time so they can plan their lives but honestly nobody has come to him about doctors appointments or anything else and when they do Jon does his level best to make sure their days off can be set on the dates they need and everyone knows when on the rota their full weekend will be so they can plan for the full year if they log on to the holiday calendar. Because unlike he’s been accused of he does actually respect and try to accommodate his assistants.
The rest of it? Well it’s not like he can actually fire anyone and if they are late to work they all make up for it within the week or by shaving time off their lunch breaks so late slips (and okay there are quite a few) aren’t the end of the world. Reviews are a month late because he got fucking kidnapped he wasn’t there for a month, and he was in America where Elias sent him when they were due.
Either way he took a huge stack of paperwork home and had a grand total of three hours sleep because he was trying to get through it. So when he got in he was tired and in a foul mood. Thank god for Martin telling him he’d take over as much as he could and to take a nap. Even if he’s actually just lay on the floor with a pillow on his face and considered screaming into it for what feels like hours. He honestly just ignores the door, until someone grabs his wrist and checking his pulse. ]
There’s still time. It could happen. [ He still sounds incredibly grumpy and doesn’t bother to remove his pillow. ]
Would you like some help? [ She drops his wrist and pushes down on the pillow playfully, bouncing off of it once before grabbing the pillow by the corner and yanking it off.] Christ, you look terrible. Did you even sleep or just sat here in the dark for two hours?
[ She drops the pillow and then lowers herself to sit on it in front of him. ] Alright, then. Let's hear it. What's going on?
If I say yes are you going to get all worried and demand I seek a therapist? [ If you can’t make dark jokes with somebody you dragged out of a coffin, who tried to kill you once who can you? It doesn’t matter, she pretends to help out and then tears his pillow away. ]
I lay on the floor with my eyes closed, does that count? [ It wasn’t for lack of trying but he’s not one of the weirdos he knows who can drink an entire caffeinated beverage and then take a nap and he’s had… a few today. ]
Well Elias sent me out of the country, and I nearly died again and yesterday he pulled me in to his office to tell me I’m going to get email reminders about all my management tasks that I’m behind on and that I need to get better about doing them on time and blah, blah, blah, self-important bullshit Elias speak. [ The stress and irritation permeates his tone. ] So I tried to get on top of it and then Elias found out everyone wasted an hour being silly yesterday… [ He can’t even bring himself to blame them, they can’t quit or be fired, they’re all hostages, why shouldn’t they? ] So apparently I’m too lenient and clearly nobody respects me. [ I mean they don’t but he’d rather that than they’d all continued to hate him instead. ] And I really, truly, can’t be fucking bothered with him and his shit.
Oh, God, no. Glass houses and all that. [ Honestly, Jon dragging her out of that coffin is the only reason she's trying right now. The old her probably would've thought putting him out of his misery was a kindness. ]
It does not. [ She says, shaking her head. Martin will be sorely disappointed that his nap time didn't work out. ]
Wow. [ She tries to bite back the amusement in her tone. It's not... well, it is funny, but the look on Jon's face isn't. He's clearly bothered by the fact that he's behind on emails and has no control over his staff. Which, compared to the off hand way he mentioned another brush with death, is mildly concerning.]
What a dick. [ It's more than clear that this is one the deepest insults she can think of, at least personally. Men are the worst. She stands by that, even if the one currently in front of her induces the tiniest amount of pity.] And good. Fuck it. [ So the cogs of evil turn a little slower in the basement. It's not the worst thing. ] About time you took a page out of the old lady's book.
[ She sighs.] Now, if you're done with your pity party, I say we fuck off early and go get a drink.
According to studies done on firefighters lying down with your eyes closed still helps. [ Don’t ask how he knows that or why because he couldn’t possibly say. He might have read it in an internet deep dive or the eye might have “helpfully” supplied the information. At this point he’s never entirely sure which of those options is the culprit.
And yes Daisy, he is definitely more bothered by his staff and Elias trying to act like this is a normal working environment than almost dying again. Almost dying is just a regular Tuesday these days. ] It would be nice to be given some grace for things going a little awry when I’m being almost killed on the regular but no, apparently that’s not- [ He puts on his best Elias voice ] good enough for The Esteemed Magnus Institute where we just accept being maimed and then do all our reports on time anyway.
I don’t think I’m going to entirely do a Gertrude. But this once, sure. Fuck the paperwork, I have drinking to do. [ Maybe when you’ve neither eaten or slept a smart man would say no to the amount of whisky he and Daisy are inevitably going to consume, but Jon is not a smart man, not in this particular way anyway. So he gets off the floor - every single joint in his body cracks on the way up - and grabs his coat from the back of his chair. ] I should probably apologise to Martin. [ For dumping a pile of his incomplete paperwork on him and leaving. But that’s what texting is for. He double checks that his phone is actually in his coat pocket and he’s not about to leave it at work (again.) ] I’ll text him.
Why not? [ She asks when he mentions his predecessor. ] It's not as if you actually running this department means anything but them getting what they want out of it. Wouldn't it be better if you were incompetent at your job? [ Or is Jonathan Sims so prideful that he can't even pretend to be incompetent?]
That's the spirit.[ She crowds him out the door before he can change his mind. ] Don't worry about Martin. He'll just be happy you're getting off the floor and out of your cave.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2025-08-09 11:53 pm (UTC)Yes okay, Elias is right that he does owe his assistants the rota on time so they can plan their lives but honestly nobody has come to him about doctors appointments or anything else and when they do Jon does his level best to make sure their days off can be set on the dates they need and everyone knows when on the rota their full weekend will be so they can plan for the full year if they log on to the holiday calendar. Because unlike he’s been accused of he does actually respect and try to accommodate his assistants.
The rest of it? Well it’s not like he can actually fire anyone and if they are late to work they all make up for it within the week or by shaving time off their lunch breaks so late slips (and okay there are quite a few) aren’t the end of the world. Reviews are a month late because he got fucking kidnapped he wasn’t there for a month, and he was in America where Elias sent him when they were due.
Either way he took a huge stack of paperwork home and had a grand total of three hours sleep because he was trying to get through it. So when he got in he was tired and in a foul mood. Thank god for Martin telling him he’d take over as much as he could and to take a nap. Even if he’s actually just lay on the floor with a pillow on his face and considered screaming into it for what feels like hours. He honestly just ignores the door, until someone grabs his wrist and checking his pulse. ]
There’s still time. It could happen. [ He still sounds incredibly grumpy and doesn’t bother to remove his pillow. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-10 02:30 pm (UTC)[ She drops the pillow and then lowers herself to sit on it in front of him. ] Alright, then. Let's hear it. What's going on?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-10 03:14 pm (UTC)I lay on the floor with my eyes closed, does that count? [ It wasn’t for lack of trying but he’s not one of the weirdos he knows who can drink an entire caffeinated beverage and then take a nap and he’s had… a few today. ]
Well Elias sent me out of the country, and I nearly died again and yesterday he pulled me in to his office to tell me I’m going to get email reminders about all my management tasks that I’m behind on and that I need to get better about doing them on time and blah, blah, blah, self-important bullshit Elias speak. [ The stress and irritation permeates his tone. ] So I tried to get on top of it and then Elias found out everyone wasted an hour being silly yesterday… [ He can’t even bring himself to blame them, they can’t quit or be fired, they’re all hostages, why shouldn’t they? ] So apparently I’m too lenient and clearly nobody respects me. [ I mean they don’t but he’d rather that than they’d all continued to hate him instead. ] And I really, truly, can’t be fucking bothered with him and his shit.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-10 04:18 pm (UTC)It does not. [ She says, shaking her head. Martin will be sorely disappointed that his nap time didn't work out. ]
Wow. [ She tries to bite back the amusement in her tone. It's not... well, it is funny, but the look on Jon's face isn't. He's clearly bothered by the fact that he's behind on emails and has no control over his staff. Which, compared to the off hand way he mentioned another brush with death, is mildly concerning.]
What a dick. [ It's more than clear that this is one the deepest insults she can think of, at least personally. Men are the worst. She stands by that, even if the one currently in front of her induces the tiniest amount of pity.] And good. Fuck it. [ So the cogs of evil turn a little slower in the basement. It's not the worst thing. ] About time you took a page out of the old lady's book.
[ She sighs.] Now, if you're done with your pity party, I say we fuck off early and go get a drink.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-16 07:49 pm (UTC)And yes Daisy, he is definitely more bothered by his staff and Elias trying to act like this is a normal working environment than almost dying again. Almost dying is just a regular Tuesday these days. ] It would be nice to be given some grace for things going a little awry when I’m being almost killed on the regular but no, apparently that’s not- [ He puts on his best Elias voice ] good enough for The Esteemed Magnus Institute where we just accept being maimed and then do all our reports on time anyway.
I don’t think I’m going to entirely do a Gertrude. But this once, sure. Fuck the paperwork, I have drinking to do. [ Maybe when you’ve neither eaten or slept a smart man would say no to the amount of whisky he and Daisy are inevitably going to consume, but Jon is not a smart man, not in this particular way anyway. So he gets off the floor - every single joint in his body cracks on the way up - and grabs his coat from the back of his chair. ] I should probably apologise to Martin. [ For dumping a pile of his incomplete paperwork on him and leaving. But that’s what texting is for. He double checks that his phone is actually in his coat pocket and he’s not about to leave it at work (again.) ] I’ll text him.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-16 08:06 pm (UTC)That's the spirit.[ She crowds him out the door before he can change his mind. ] Don't worry about Martin. He'll just be happy you're getting off the floor and out of your cave.